Letty Rising |
Letty and her two girls, Zoe and Maisie |
After the birth of my first daughter in my early 20’s, I decided that I wanted to buck conventional trends and dress her in androgynous clothing. I was bothered by societal pressures which insisted that girls wear pink and boys to have footballs smattered all over their clothing. I didn't want my daughter to succumb to the societal insistence of conventional beauty and glamour. I wanted her to be drawn towards things that fed her soul, not towards the superficiality of “bling:” flashy dresses, jewelry, and make up.
Letty and Zoe |
You can suspect how I responded when my
daughter was given an extensive make-up kit by her beloved aunt at
the tender age of three! As a child born 3 days after Christmas, she
was showered with a multitude of gifts during the holiday season, and
I quickly saw that Auntie was not the only one who thought it would
be a good idea to buy make up for my very-precocious-but-still-only-3
year-old daughter! Along came the kit from grandparents, then
friends. When I gently protested (and I mean gently, as I’m not a
person to make waves), the response was, “Yes, but she LOVES make
up!”
Letty and Maisie |
They had quietly noticed what I had
been denying, in that my daughter was fascinated with the very things
I tried so hard to keep away from her. We purposely had a television
that only played movies, so that she would not be barraged by endless
advertisements. I rarely took her to department stores and instead
did much of my shopping when she was with her father or at play dates
with children of my like minded friends, who all focused on organic,
holistic living.
I was determined to raise a healthy,
conscious daughter who didn't conform to societal expectations of anything…including beauty.
I was determined to raise a healthy,
conscious daughter who didn't conform to societal expectations of anything…including beauty.
During this crossroads moment in time, I did something that I've had to do numerous times since: I let go. I
let go of my own prejudices and biases, and let my daughter enjoy
what she enjoyed. And here began my intimate relationship with
make-up. It was through my daughter’s fascination and interest
that I became more fascinated. After all, a little mascara to
brighten the eyes, and some gloss to add shine to my lips…
Zoe with Maybelline Blush |
why not?
And you know what, I liked it. This isn't to say that I became an
avid make-up wearer. I’m still too lazy for everyday application,
but I delight in wearing it on special occasions, and even on
not-so-special occasions.
I came to learn that my daughter wasn’t
interested in make up so that she could please society, conform to
social norms, or anything of the sort. She used make up as one of her
many vehicles for self expression. She liked to change her look
frequently as a child, and while I didn’t allow her to wear make-up
out of the home very often, she dressed up regularly at home.
Maisie putting on Maybelline eyeliner |
She
loved putting together outfits, and painting her face, and she became
good at it. Her younger sister shared a nearly equal amount of
interest in make-up, and when she was old enough to engage in pretend
play with her older sister, they were doing themselves up for
imaginary weddings, parties, princess tea parties, and so on.
When the kits were used up and the
luster of buying make up wore off for the relatives it was time for
me to replenish their stock.
Maisie putting on Maybelline eyeliner |
I didn't know much of anything about
make-up, except that I did wear just a little, some mascara, some eye
liner, and a touch of lip gloss on occasion. I went to the store and
bought the only make up I knew of…Maybelline. Perhaps it was the
“Maybe it’s Maybelline” commercials that I listened to while
sitting on my mother’s lap during episodes of General Hospital.
Yes, it was. I chuckled to myself that I was a victim of the
marketing strategy that preys upon comfort and familiarity. I placed
my ego aside, and purchased some Maybelline make-up for my daughters,
and haven’t looked back.
Just a few weeks ago, my youngest
daughter, now 14, became aware that I was going on a sort of “date.”
She says to me, “Mama, we need to put some make-up on you. Here,
come sit down, so I can help you.” She pulled out my Maybelline
wand, and began growing my lashes, at the same time chastising me for
not trying to look my best. My 16 year old daughter chimed in: “Mom,
when you put time into taking care of yourself, you feel better about
yourself. It isn’t really about looking good, it’s about feeling
good.”
Zoe with Great Lash mascara |
So, my view of make-up has changed,
rather drastically, because of my two greatest teachers.
Zoe and Maisie |
They taught
me that make-up doesn't always have to be about pleasing, or about
trying too hard. They taught me that make-up can be a means for
self-expression, and also, a means to feel good about ourselves.
Wearing make-up doesn't have to mean that I am giving away my power
to a patriarchal society that objectifies women (thank you, Women’s
Studies courses in college!). It can be a means to an end for
self-empowerment, and that is something I can get behind.
Thank you for this adorable post Letty, you have been the teacher and the student when it comes to your two precious angels. They say when the student is ready the teacher will come. In your case, you had to wait until the girls were old enough to make up their eyes with Maybelline... before you were ready to follow their reflection!!!
You have beautiful expressive eyes and I love seeing them made-up with Maybelline.
You're definitely model material Letty, so flaunt it because you've got it.
Maybe they're born with it.....Maybe it's Maybelline.
Letty Rising |
You have beautiful expressive eyes and I love seeing them made-up with Maybelline.
You're definitely model material Letty, so flaunt it because you've got it.
Maybe they're born with it.....Maybe it's Maybelline.
Maisie and Zoe |
Maisie and Zoe |
Maisie
Zoe |
Zoe and Maisie's friend Soleil
Soleil
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