Monday, February 1, 2016

10 Ways to Survive a Separation or a Divorce. A theme in my new TV series, "Out of the Ashes"

Bill, Donna, Pauline, Sharrie Williams 1953

We were the ideal 1950's family.  My parents had it all. The perfect house, a Cadillac convertible, kids in private school. The American Dream. They also lived above their means and fought all the time. After the sale of the Maybelline Company in 1967, they fought more. By 1970 they were divorced. My dad remarried two more times. My mother fell apart and never was the same. The family still feels the effects of our parent's terrible divorce.  It's one of the themes in my new book/TV series "Out of the Ashes."  Sadly I too, divorced. Here are 10 suggestions how to survive the nightmare if you or someone you know is going through...

10 Ways to Survive a Separation or a Divorce

You’re involved in the process of divorce or you’re now separated from your spouse and considering working through the divorce process. It’s a time when you could be wondering just how difficult it will be to survive the forthcoming ordeal. Here we discuss ten ways that will make life easier when trying to survive either a separation or a divorce.

1. Get some help: A divorce attorney, such as the best divorce attorney in Houston, can provide you with the legal help that you’re in need of, while support groups can offer you emotional stability in order to work through your divorce or handle your separation better.

2. Don’t shy from talking about your problems: If you are attempting to deal with a very tough time in your life as a result of the dissolving of your marriage, find family and friends who have already experienced what you are going through now. Talking over your situation and discussing your concerns can help to make the whole process of divorce that much more bearable.

3. Focus your thoughts on the future: Dwelling on the past simply helps you to drag your exasperation out for longer. In turn, that can draw the pain of the relationship out longer, too. This can make life more difficult and may also cost you more money. So, instead, focus on the future and what it is you want to achieve. And also keep in mind how a divorce attorney will help to facilitate the divorce arrangements and that will aid you to achieve your future goals more effectively.

4. Remain practical with respect to the divorce settlement: You’ll need to comprehend your rights and what it is that you are entitled to in terms of the marital assets and what you’ll get from your spouse. At the same time, you don’t want to be so demanding that it is not possible to reach an agreement with him or her. Keep a level head and approach matters with a practical outlook.

5. Make a list of priorities  about what you want and need from the divorce: You should be willing to compromise some things that are not quite as important to you, and in which way, your spouse could be willing to allow you to hold onto the things that matter more to you. If you’re aware of what it is that you truly want from the settlement, it’s up to your attorney to help you in determining what must occur for you to get it.

6. Look to make compromises with your spouse: The simple fact is that if you are not able to come to an agreement with your spouse about assets and child custody, it will be in the court’s hands to do that for you. You’ll then have less control over the issue and it will be much more costly. Thus, both parties should try hard to make compromises and come to their own agreement over who wants what.

7. Avoid signing any paperwork without your divorce attorney’s advice: If you go ahead and sign something without your attorney’s advice, you may in effect by signing something that is not in your best interests. It can then be difficult or even impossible to change the agreement.

8. Gain an understanding of your rights as they are governed by the law: You could be fully entitled to half of all marital property, or perhaps to a portion of your spouse’s Social Security, pension, or business assets. So be sure that you are aware about what the law will entitle you to, based on your marriage, and this way it is almost certain that you will get everything that you should.

9. Maintain good records: If you keep records of both your assets and your finances, it is far easier to understand what you have in your possession, and what it is that has to be divided once the marriage is dissolved

10. Try to avoid acting out of spite: By attempting to keep your kids away from your spouse or by making entirely unreasonable demands given that you are emotionally distraught, it can cost you a lot more money and merely aids in making the divorce process drag out even longer. It’s understandable that you’re feeling angry and frustrated, but try to set aside those emotions when dealing with matters of the divorce.

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